Self evaluation

1) What score do you think you deserve?

 I think I maybe got 2 points in my first draft. Because I really try hard to understand what is persuade essay and what is classical argument, so I read a lot of other friends' examples and teacher’s explanation and try to write my essay similar to teacher's template. Also I think my narration part is good because I try to explain all the exact information that need to understand my topic. But I think some parts like conclusion part have to be adjusted because I don't exactly understand how I wrote that part. Anyway, I think I got 2 points in my first draft.

2) What did you do well?

 I think my narration part and refutation part are done well. Because in the narration part, I try to explain and define all the difficult and ambiguous terms like shutdown law and game addiction. Also I try to expect the impact after the law practiced. And in the refutation part, I mentioned about the expert's opinions and I think I appropriately write the refutation about it. Not only this I think my introduction is very fresh because I started it by mentioning about the example about game addiction.

3) What could you have done better?

 I think I have to adjust some grammar errors and spelling errors. I think I write it very logically but there are some grammar errors and there are no meaningful sentences. Also at the narration, I think I have to add some supporters’ opinions about shutdown law.

 4) What part of the classical argument did you use the best?

I think the part that I mentioned about the game industries’ impacts because of the shutdown law is the best. Because I think I use the exports opinion very well and I explain logically about how it impacted and use some examples like Lineage. Also I suggested other ways to prevent children from game addiction in that part according to the experts’ opinions who said that shutdown law will impact game industries very badly.

 5) Which part of the classical argument did you use the most poorly?

I think there isn’t the worst part that I did but I want to add more evidences about the shutdown law’s efficiency. I think I have to use more reasons why they can’t efficiently protect children from game addiction. Also I have to adjust some no meaningful sentences which just repeated the same thing.

6) What’s your strategy to make your second draft better?

There are three strategies to make my second draft better. First, correct the grammar errors, spelling errors and delete some no meaningful sentences. Second add more evidences like experts opinions. Lastly I think that my conclusion part have to be more clearly. Thus I will rewrite my conclusion. And I believe those things can make my second draft better.