- Technically perfect
- Follows the classical argument
- Displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic
- Thought provoking and captivating
- Clearly the product of extensive drafting and research
4 points
- Technically perfect
- Follows the classical argument
- Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic
- Clearly the product of thorough drafting and research
- Follows the classical argument
- Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic
- Some evidence of drafting and research
2 points
- Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic
- Incomplete or inadequate
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
I want to give 5 points for this essay. Because first the topic and perspective are very unique - Everyone including me may be think that physical training is very important and never think about the sport psychology.
How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
문단 문단 마다 너무 나누어 놔서 구조적으로 안정되보이지 못하는 것 같다. 문단 정리가 조금 필요할 것 같다.
Thesis
What is the thesis?
Sport psychology is much more important than physical training
Is the thesis clear and debatable?
Yes and yes.
If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?Although physical training is important, sport psychology is more important.
Any other thoughts?
I think athlets can improve his confiendce and can be more stable and calm when he practice a lot. However after I read this essay, I agree to her opinion
Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
I can see all 5 parts of the classical argument. Especially I like her refutation part because she wrote it very clearly and properly.
Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
The essay start with the ordinary people's thought of sports and then, it comfartably lead to the explanation of sport phycology and thesis.
Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
Yes. It explained well what is the purpose of sports psychology and why the athlets need it. One thing that I want to recommend is to structure it well like divide the part of its purpose to recognize and understand well.
Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
Yes. But I want to recommend that sports phycology is more important than physical trainning to athelets whose ability is very great because other athelets whose ability is very low can imporve his ability by practicing rather than sports physicology so to them physical training can make them better result than sports physicology.
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
I think the counterpoint is reasonable - she used experts opionion properly and respond in a reasnable manner.
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
Yes. the conclusion summarize the whole reason why she state like and at the last part she explained well the today athlets' situation well to imphasize the thesis.
What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
I think at the refutaion part, it is better to add what part can be support the opinion more exactly and concretely.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I disagreed with the thesis.
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I agree with the thesis.
If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
Nowadays all the athlets work hard and build their body. However the real competition is diffirent from the practice. Thus the athlets need to practice imaginary through the sports psychology.
How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
Do not generalize some part like 'all athletes work hard and build their body' but this can be not true because some athletes cannot be like that.
Research
Is the author using research effectively?
Yes
Is the research from appropriate sources?
Yes
Are the sources obvious?
Yes, the sources are obvious.
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
Yes. The evideces approporiatly support such as the importance of sports phycology and why the athletes need it.Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
I think at the refutation part, more evideces from diffirent experts and diverse statistics can be improve the persuasion.
댓글 없음:
댓글 쓰기